The fears and doubts of pregnancy..

This is something I’ve been struggling to write about because obviously, having a baby is meant to be the best feeling in the world. Once you hold your baby in your arms. But how about the emotional rollercoaster that women/couples go through? I mean, for any standard couple finding out that you’re going to have a baby can be a mixture of feelings; excited, nervous, scared, happy, thrilled, shocked. And all of the rest that come in-between!

I was going through a pretty difficult and dark time when I found out that I was pregnant (I still am in some ways.) but when I took those 2 pregnancy tests on 1st May 2016, I honestly felt numb. I work with children, they’re a passion of mine and always have been. But going through personal issues at the same time it was pretty hard to try and balance the two on my shoulders especially when they were two completely separate issues!

I’m not saying my baby was a mistake because I will never look at my child that way, he or she wasn’t planned but not all pregnancies are. Since finding out I was pregnant just over a month ago I have been on a rollercoaster of emotions. I’ve felt so excited that I’ve just wanted to get up and go out and buy lots of baby things, but then I have also felt the complete opposite. Felt alone and that my whole life was going to end. I felt scared of loosing some close friends who were finding it hard to accept. But thats a part of life and its something I’m probably just going to have to get through.

Reading other peoples pregnancy blogs and watching pregnancy vlogs have helped me to understand that everyones situation is different. Some people are with their partners happily married and having children and others are completely alone. I may not have a partner to back me up and support me anymore, but I do have my family and community midwife who I know I will always be able to count on.

Everyones lives drastically change when a baby becomes involved because its no longer just about you. I intend to take a part time college course when I’m approx. 6-7 months pregnant. therefore I will not have completed it by the time the baby is here, so that is going to be a challenge in itself! But it will be worth it 🙂

I’ve followed the Youtuber ‘Britneyandbaby’ since she was pregnant with her first child who is now a toddler. I must say, she is so inspirational and I thought that from the first video I watched of hers. Its a huge thing to do; just put most of your life out there to share with the world, definitely daunting! If you’ve never watched her videos you definitely should! 🙂

Doubts. now this is probably a topic not may people like to think about when they find out that they are pregnant because its something that is frowned upon by a lot of people. But in reality more people think about abortion than is let on. In 100% honesty I did consider it. I am currently going through a difficult time and didn’t feel that I was emotionally stable enough to look after a child, I also thought was it fair to bring a child into this world? Everyone must have some sort of doubt or questioning during their pregnancy. Not necessarily considering abortion but they may have doubts run through their mind.

The thing that changed my mind or helped me to make a decision was the future. I can’t mope around for the rest of my life. As much as I want to, being in love for 5 years is a long time. Its not something that you can just let go of. Its something that I want to cling on to forevermore. But that isn’t going to help me either, so I’m going to just have to focus on my baby and whats best for us!

Some people aren’t aware of what help is out there, not everyone feels comfortable talking to their GP. I know that I try and avoid it wherever possible! Sometimes I feel so judged by them! But there are plenty of options that women/couples can think about. Such as;

  • Your community midwife
  • Most areas run support groups for younger mums (teenage mums)
  • Pre-natal classes. this can range from anything such as a tour of the labour ward of your hospital to support for parents having multiples or just to get advice on how to handle yourself during labour.
  • Your local children’s centre. there are lots of professionals who can advise and give support here 🙂
  • For the UK there are a range of support helplines that you are able to call: http://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/pregnancy.php (there are also a couple of websites here that you can visit too)

Kirsty x

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